The first thought to register, before sounds, sights or even knowing I was awake was the certainty my tongue was permanently stuck to the roof of my mouth and, worse, had transformed into a medium sized cactus while I slept.
Slowly, other sensations began to register. Lights were on somewhere. People were home and talking… or watching TV… or well, voices filtered in from around a corner. Also, and I don’t mean to be indelicate, if I didn’t pee soon the necessary control muscles felt likely to collapse entirely.
Definitely time to wake up.
You know when you are away from home and you wake disoriented until your brain catches up? Yeah, this wasn’t like that at all.
The bed wasn’t my bed. The floor wasn’t my floor… and the creepy, cheerful bat referring to herself in the plural was most definitely not someone I knew.
“Well, good morning Sunshine! How are we today?
Seriously, people actually talk like that? Isn’t that a cliche of fiction?
I still had to pee so took a leap in logic… I would not find the needed facility in the familiar place.
It took a bit of effort to manage the one word. At the first consonant, my lips seemed to fuse. By the time I croaked out the syllables, I could taste blood from my now cracked lips.
The Bat in the doorway pointed inside the room to my left. “Right there sweetie. Leave the door open. I have to watch.”
I’d woken up in Hell.